I laugh when I’m embarrassed .

I laugh when somebody says something which isn’t really funny.

I laugh when I’m in trouble .

I laugh when I’ve been caught being inattentive .

Your friends have voted on your strengths and weaknesses:

STRENGTHS:

funniest
best mannered
most useful

WEAKNESSES:

best scientist
most fashionable

Oh well .. i guess not all things you can successfully fake .

I nearly cried today . Nearly . They just welled up . I need to see them . I need to look in the mirror and see them roll down my cheeks . I hope they’ll be silent .

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come kiss me yasoof come kiss me

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yosuf come here

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Don’t you know me  ?

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I’m your sister !

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It’s not his fault he doesn’t recognize you

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Silent tears are so dignified .

After opening my mouth today for a lengthy period of time i have to admit that i have a new found respect for porn stars . I mean really i opened my mouth for just 20 minutes and my jaw hurt like a motherfucker . Honestly , how do they do it ? Day in and day out they open their mouths and suck for hours at end and have to endure many takes to get that perfect looking blow job . Amazing women , really and very strong jaws .

And kudos to the girls who like giving head but i think that’s really the effect of too much tv and too much porn . I mean if you talk about something or watch something long enough eventually you’ll  think its plain ordinary . My mother used to tell me to stop watching movies with too much violence and sex . ” It will deaden your emotions ( tmawat e7saasesch ) ” , she used to say . At that time, i didn’t understand what the fuck that meant but now i honestly do . I remember a time when watching violence in films made me cringe and the idea of S & M  made me want to throw up. But if you look at my sexual fantasies years ago and my fantasies now , you’ll see a vast difference . Back then it was plain old missionary style sex and i wasn’t complaining it was good enough and did the job . But now it’s doggy style and a dash of ass slapping . Did i over share ? Me sorry .

I remember a friend of mine once told me that while he was fucking a girl she told him ” to pee on her ” he stopped fucking her and started laughing . Poor girl . She thought that was sexy she probably saw it in a porno and thought it was a really sexy thing to say and he’d like that . I mean really i felt sorry for that girl and i don’t think that she really meant that because she’s into being degraded . I actually think that she was that gullible and that fucking stupid .

Its amazing the things girls do for guys . They suck their dicks, allow them to put their dicks in their poop holes and some even let them insult them .The last part interests me greatly because I’ve been hearing alot of it .  I think I’ve said this all before but i think that girls who like to be degraded are :

a ) girls who watch too much porn

b) girls who’ve had it easy in life ( mdala3aat )

Personally , i side more with b because the girls i know who are into this self deprecating business are very demure and respectable looking who’ve had everything handed to them on a silver platter  . You should always be careful with the quiet ones . Believe me its always the quiet ones who have a holier-than-thou attitude that are the dirty ones . I’m really not judging . I mean whatever makes you happy/cum  ? But really if a guy was fucking me and then started pulling my hair and calling me ” a whore ” heavy hot fucking or not I’d probably get up and tell him ” your mothers the fucking whore , asshole” . Nah uh not for me . I only like the ass slapping because i like the sound . SMACK .

P.S. If you’re still wondering i was at the dentist .

If you’re wondering why she looks like shit it’s because she’s israeli but she still made me like her song and even maybe like her . Fuck her and her beautiful voice ! Now i know why songs are 7aram !

As you can read from my title i know exactly what I’m doing so don’t say ”not all” or ”not true” and ”that’s my family you’re talking about bitch !”  . Actually do say that last comment because i love hate mail. I wish i would get a lot of hate mail / comments . I feel ”Allah wanaaasah action” so feel free to insult me and make my day . And if you are thinking ”oh what a bitch she’s known all these types of guys !” . Yes I’m a bitch . A virgin bitch .  You’re probably going to marry a virgin bitch and I’m not talking to the guys here bas Hah and also whats written below has been confirmed by other girls/friends/bitches .

• Usually when you see a really hot stylish 7thirie guy in Kuwait he’s usually a qna3ie or kandarey
• The hottest Bedouin guys are usually me6raan or 3etbaan
• Bado guys when they love you they fucking love you very possessive
• Guys who live in thaa7yat abdullah elsalem are elitist assholes
• Rich guys always think every girl wants to marry them
• 3ayam guys are really kinky
• The best really open minded guys are qnaa3ies i fucking love them
• Do not i repeat do not talk to guys who live in al3adan. I warned you and to be on the safe side just dont talk to any guy who loves in grain
• If you’re going to talk to a guy/girl who was/is in CBA be prepared to hear a lot of name dropping , Armani sunglasses and chocolate bar
• Guys who majored English literature are always so brooding and sensitive
• Guys who live in shwaikh are strangely nice
• If he’s young and he’s driving a ford in share3 demashq he’s probably fucking awesome
• If you want to see the hottest guys go to shwaikh el9enaa3yah
• If you want to see a collection of assholes go to any sushi restaurant
• Guys who drive ranges are exhibitionists and i wont even start about the girls who drive them
• Alghanem guys are very weird and i have yet to see a good looking one
• The girls and guys of alnaqeeb and alroomy are just the cutest
• If he’s got an old car/phone and he’s ugly he’s probably fucking rich
• 9obaa7ies are ugly
• Guys that are half ( Kuwaiti )half something else are fucking amazing and open minded! added by daloo3a
• Guys who live in grain never admit it, but say they live in raw6′a or 3dailiya or wherever their ‘grandfathers’ house is , added by Enigma

If it’s any consolation im probably if not assuredly going to hell .

P.S. Feel free to add a male or female stereotype or generalization .

This Weekend

”4 kilo o 6raaag o t9eeren chethy * thumbs up* ”

4 kilo ?  Ya3ni mo 3 wala 5 .

”Law sema7tey e5tey tabeen shay e5tey e5tey”

After i heard the sound of the car drive away i turned around and saw that it was a cops car. E3jebatney ”e5ety” .

Come ons from the archives

A guy frantically honks and starts swerving close to me i look and he’s showing me a large picture of a girl  . He points at me and the picture and i nod my head in amazement acknowledging the physical similarities between us . He makes other gestures -all while driving - to show how he used to love her and rubs his hands together and then throws them in the air i . e she’s gone . He then follows me .

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I was sitting in the backseat of a friends car and a guy in the car next to us points at me and then points at his ring finger and mouths the word ”zawaaaj” . He then edges closer to our car and writes something on a huge piece of paper ( before the bluetooth days ) while his friend is holding the steering wheel and sticks the paper- now showing what appears to be a phone number - on his car window . He barely swerves to miss a truck meters away in front of him .

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A guy follows me and then comes face to face with me and says angrily  :

”Ee ref3ay rasech akthar ee ref3ay laman yenkaser .”

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I am fully aware that the last one was more of a put down then a come on . But i like it so Kaifey.